Is it ever ok to be the mistress?

I was having this talk with my friends over dinner last week and it has turned into a battle which has been raging for days.

Is it ever ok to be that elusive other woman?

For me it was a very definite NO. Unintentionally you get a bly but if you willing do that then most definitely not. I have a feeling its going to be a LOOOONG one so sit back and get comfy!

Never will I intentionally be a mistress. I don't often say never but this is not an option for me. I am of the thoughts that if I don't dip my hand in your honey pot then don't put your hand in my candy jar.

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For me it is all about respect. Full stop end of. Even if you don't rate that other girl whose man you are creeping with rate yourself. Several people are being sacrificed for the pleasures of the few.

I will never be the chick that spoils his wife/ girlfriends illusions, he can do that all on his own. I won't be the woman that gives him an excuse to be a weekend dad. If you have time to be out and about with your extra curricular lady, you have time to be home with your family. I will definitely not be a contributing factor to him not being home to read his kids bedtime stories every night. Most of all I really don't have the urge to massage dudes ego into think he is the shit. Because really he is just a shit. I am not a part time hobby, nor am I second best. I am not a rough and ready fumble before taking conciliatory flowers home to the Mrs. I am more,I expect more, I demand more.

This debate got really heated as you can imagine. A few odd looks in the restaurant lol but we kept it classy don't worry. A few guys were trying to bring valid arguments to a nonsensical situation. A friend of mines argument was if you can get away with it, then why not? What you don't know won't hurt you. OK at this point I am like errr  what ? What about when you bring home your rank fire crotch full of STDS and god knows what else, what then? What do you say then? It is easy to say sorry after you are satiated but was that random chick worth what you will lose?

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I got beauty, I got heart ,keep my head in dem books I'm sharp

 but you don't care to know I'm smart - King B

At this point if you can believe it, 3 men from the next table who were listening and rolling their eyes like ahh the untainted ideologies of the youth, waded in.

 Lets call them Ginger, Golden oldie and 3 piece suit. Golden oldie threw in the old as time "we have been married for xyz years and she doesn't understand me ". *sighs deeply I am sure she doesn't understand why your are out chasing Friday night fanny, with your ring tan line on display. After she gave you the best years of her life  and destroyed her body pushing out your big headed progeny! (there were 5 of them, he showed us his pics after). Do you understand her even? Round one to me then.



Ginger at this point flings in "well what if we have grown apart? we are companions more than anything now"

Mwahahahaaa stop it mate! I am sure you and your girlfriend have grown apart sunshine. If you are out chasing gyal (yes I said gyal) and displaying wildly inappropriate behaviour to recapture your misspent youth. If you are companions, why don't you ask for an open relationship? I am sure she is raring to go and jump some new guys herself! He didn't like that one lol. seemed a bit affronted at the idea as a woman behaving in the same way as him. Sells of male privilege and misogyny. The reason is forgiveness is way easier to come by than permission. It is unlikely to end well.



3 piece suit's argument was that a mistress was like a motor bike a hobby (yes let us compare women to inanimate objects). Something to relieve tension before heading home to the family. "The key is to find a woman who understands your situation and is willing to accept it, If not lie" . In my opinion a motorbike would be a lot cheaper and less deadly. For me this was worst of all. This justification was so cold hearted, ridiculous and vile. Why even consider leaving his wife if he could have his cake, have your pie and go around the corner for next womans muffin. I am sure there are some exceptions to the rule but I don't know a lot of women who would ever want to play second fiddle. To accept whole heartedly that this is your future and it wont progress on any terms least of all hers.

I am of the school that karma is the biggest and baddest bitch. You will lose him as you found him and really was he worth it?

To me some things are black and white, there is no grey area. Have people forgotten that you can easily leave if you don't want to be there any more. I accept there are some situations you cant leave but kids are not one of them!  Don't hide behind your kids, because he didn't think of them when he was out fucking about and visa versa. A child will be happier in home where the parents are at peace and happy. I would rather be happy on my own than become a person I didn't like, needy, edgy, clingy and no longer trusting. If that ever happened to me I would be gone, I would not stay and teach my daughters that it is ok for a man to mistreat you and my sons that it is cool to disrespect women. No thank you.  Golden oldies youngest child is late 30's and he is still chillin at home getting his hot meals. The heartache of a break up is fleeting in comparison to shattering somebodies life and homes. Frankly I have to much pride and even if I loved him to the depths of my soul and it would hurt me to go, it would damage much more to stay.

Thems be my thoughts from a females perspective. What do you think?

 Until next time,

Faithfully
Stephanie aka Wednesdays Girl

xoxo

The forgotten sisterhood and the bitchcraft coven that replaced them

My friend Nikki sent me an article today about Samantha Bricks struggle with being "too beautiful". Before reading the article I was rolling my eyes like OK honey lets have a look at you but I stopped myself. It's a catch 22 situation if I judge her before I have read her story I am like the many women she is describing and if I read it and say she is stunning (sorry she isn't) then I am lying to myself before my 2nd cup of coffee. 

However with an inflammatory title like 'There are downsides to looking this pretty': Why women hate me for being beautiful , backlash has to be expected especially when her face is not delivering the goods. Having seen her own website the article pictures do her no favours at all. I choose the nicest one.

I find it interesting that she measures her good looks mostly by the attention she has gotten from men. A bottle of champagne sent over or a train ticket being paid for is hardly a sign of your beauty. To be honest who hasn't been out with friends and a man sends over a bottle or two? For me that just means we don't have to spend our own money. Cheers random man. As she reels off the times when a man has given or paid for something it feels like American pie when the girl is like "this one time at band camp....." change the record love. In regards to those circumstances she has given about husbands flirting with beautiful women, or being given special attention and where others are genuinely threatened they happen but I am unsure they happen to her. Really her self absorption and arrogance is breath taking lol.

In my opinion she is somewhat pretty, her appearance is enhanced by having her hair done and make up applied. Her clothing although not to my taste or what I would call stylish are befitting of her age and put together nicely. She states that her pretty smile is often refereed to when she receives such treats, to me the adage should have gone to spec savers comes to mind. She displays an incredibly inflated ego and little humility.

Sorry to break it to you Samantha but being tall, blonde and slim does not equate beauty, although western society has made that the hight of ideal beauty. What I think makes her so appealing is her self confidence. She believes she is beautiful so she moves with confidence. She thinks she is very attractive to men so her self esteem is at an all time high. There is nothing more attractive than a confident person who is sure of themselves. However Mrs Brick teeters on the edge of severe vanity and delusion.  As to women being jealous of her, I am sure there are a few but her self centred approach to this article lead me to believe that there aren't many. It is more likely that I would be "jealous" of her some what successful career than her face. I find her negative woe is me energy a big turn off.

As to her friends being jealous maybe it is time to find some new ones.That is not the basis of a strong and healthy friendship. I am sure most after this article will be dropping her anyway. It is not her right to automatically become a friends bridesmaid and with such an inflated ego I am unsure how she actually still has any friends. She is very confusing she seems to crave the approval of said friends while thinking they all hate her. If so may people from different parts of her life dislike her and the only thing they have in common is her..... well you see where this is going. Having read her article twice I am willing to accept that she has had a hard time at work and maybe the story regarding the married woman is true but everything else just sounds like the ramblings of a bored imaginative country wife.

Samantha Brick does hit on one crucial point though and that is that women are incredibly bitchy and rude about other women. Having gone to an all girls secondary school I know first hand how spiteful and cruel little women can be (myself at times included). On the other hand girls and young women can also be the most uplifting a supportive people. Although for me my school days were mostly a time of fun and frolics I do remember having to have a very sharp and acerbic tongue. I was never marginalised and I had many friends who were not in my main set of friends. I met many awesome and life long friends there. In many ways girls develop a lot faster than boys and cliques are at times formed on the dislike of others. The cliques men form at work have long been used by girls and women. To put it bluntly girls make feral dogs look like petting zoo lambs. On the flip side being surrounded by females also empowered me. I have no problem complimenting a woman on her beauty or clothes and I get on well with most.

Women are extremely competitive in the work place because most of the time they have it so much harder than men. Once you hit that glass ceiling it is incredibly difficult to abide another woman competing for what is deemed to be your territory. In an environment where few women as possible are accepted, women begin to turn on each other instead of sticking together. I have seen this occur luckily not to me. Although bitching is a great pass time I do think it is high time women banded together and ruled the world! Lets all try to be a little bit nicer.

P.s the worst of your sins Samantha is living in France and  not succumbing to chocolate more often. Its unnatural!

Miss Wednesdays Girl

xoxo