Saturday, 25 February 2012

It appears she may have found love in a hopeless place!

via Pinterest
"They can say whatever I'ma do whatever No pain is forever Yup, you know this" Rihanna

It seems when Rihanna sang those lines she was readying herself for this battle. There has always been controversy regarding the state of her and Chris Brown’s relationship post beat down.

The latest installment of the Ri ri and Breezy saga is the Birthday cake remix, which definitely shows that there is still more than music between them. There have been many who have been up in arms over what they see as an extremely foolish and dangerous move for Rihanna, personally and career wise who appeared to have finally moved on.

There has been an overwhelming amount of negativity towards these two hooking up in any sense of the word and understandable so. The sexual chemistry between the pair is and has always been undeniable. I however think it goes so much deeper than that, having had similar experiences in their personal lives growing up and they are drawn to each other if not bound by that intensity for each other. The picture clearly indicates that they knew what was coming and honestly don’t care.

As this has all been unfolding I have been thinking and musing on the situation. As many people will know after her assault I took a great dislike to Chris Brown due to the intensity of abuse he dished out and the vitriol it must have taken to launch such an attack. Having read articles in the past, pre his attack on Rihanna he had stated that he had witnessed his mother being abused, so for me it was a doubly disgusting act. As I wasn’t much of a Breezy fan anyway I found it easy to shy away from his music and disparage most of his work simply because I do not believe in enhancing or praising those who lift their hands to their partners or children. Till this day I am not feeling the man in the mirror performance, sorry just NOT feeling it!

My immediate jerk reaction after seeing her birthday pictures and hearing rumours of a collaboration was REALLY Rihanna? Seriously? Many say love is blind but in her position the only blindness I would be facing is a bruised eye before leaving and never looking back. Having never been in an abusive relationship or been assaulted my thoughts would be why would you want to go back there for round two. Rihanna has always come across a strong, independent and confident woman but in some cases the heart wants what the heart want. Those characteristics aren't diminished because she was abused.

Although there are many people who have spoken out simply because they wish her well, there a few out there who simply want to hate and spew their venom. All I can really say is with many women who have been abused or are being abused, they at times think it was their fault or had they done better things would not have escalated. Many women who have been abused strangely share a link with their abusers. I am not saying this is what she is experiencing but I am saying that like these women who do go back they will not be open seeking help or leaving unless they are ready to step away and move on. A decision they must take.

However thinking on it further I began to think what if this is Rihannas' way of moving on, finding closure and keep it moving? At the time of the assault if I remember correctly she did go back to Chris Brown for a period of time but due to media and other social pressures she kind of had to terminate the relationship. I get the impression that these two have some unfinished business that has not been laid to rest. Until it is made evident we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Although some pictures seem to be full evidence that they are an item once again.

I have come to the realisation that due to societyies obsession with celebrity, we sometimes forget that celebs are real people and as the public we are given the role of spectators and ring side seats. As human beings it is in our DNA to judge, gossip and express opinions. That is absolutely fine but we must remember that what we read in the magazines and see on TV is simple a certain image of an event and not the whole story. We must also remind ourselves that our fodder and entertainment is actually somebody’s reality.

Behind the glitzy, glamour and the mega star that is Rihanna, lives a 24 year old woman called Robyn who should be given the opportunity to live her life in what ever manner she chooses to, after the curtain falls. Many have complained that she is a really bad role model for young women and children but the fact is Rihanna is not a clean cut artist, nor has she ever claimed to be, she has a hyper sexualised image which she projects and  should be a clear indicator that she isn’t for the young kids. I have always been of the opinion that nobody should be saddled with the title role model. She is not perfect and like anybody else if she isn’t allowed to make her mistakes, how can she learn? How does she grow?

 It is one thing for her to show young women that it is indeed possible to make it and achieve your dream but the only person that should be teaching your child moral values is YOU. Don’t push that on to others. In a world where there is so much confusing and bogus ideologies flying about it is not a celebrity’s job to train your child. In regards to adults I may be in the minority  but I don't follow anyone let alone a celeb! Why should Rihanna spend her life second guessing her choices and  shoulda, coulda, woulda- ing  simply to fulfil your fantasy of what she should be?
If her life choices are not to your liking nobody is forcing you to watch her videos, buy her music or listen to it. For somebody you no longer rate you sure are giving her a lot of column inches and moments of your life.

It may seem clear to us what she should be doing, or offering up opinions about what we would do if we were her BUT the fact remains we are not her.

We may have all contributed to her success in various forms but her life is her own and she is free to do as she will with it. Good luck to her!

Stephanie aka Wednesdays Girl

Don't forget to come find me and    

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